Is it flu or Covid? The PCR test will confirm that, but I lay here with aches through my body but the clearest mind in a long time.
Throwing myself from pillow to pillow last night, I was frustrated at the lack of sleep, and aware that I wasn't feeling very well. In my slumber, I heard a voice, telling me to do less, much less. It was the clearest voice in a long time.
I had hairdressing clients booked in today and Saturday; meetings, a chapter to write by the end of the month for my PhD, house to clean, eBay stuff to sell, and let's not get started on Mum and the care I need to do for her.
I was going to cancel everything and spend the next two weeks working from home and writing, but first, a couple of days off to get over this flu. I felt like it was a promise to myself. I have worked hard over the years, my body is screaming at me to stop, slow down, do what I absolutely love to do. I'm not going to last forever, none of us is.
Wayne Dyer says, 'don't die with the music still in you,' and that's me and my books. I want and need to get them written and get them out there.
Self-doubt creeps in as I figure out what my Instagram page should look like if I'm a non-fiction author (and only a non-fiction author). The investment business is going ok, it should be making a profit within the next 4 years but it might not be enough to sustain things. Although I truly want to write the books, I want to promote that online life. Not interested in teaching people how to invest in property, even though I could.
The voice was loud. And I woke with clarity.
The PhD is a passion. It's something that will teach me a lot about writing, academically, and getting published in all those places. But, I'm definitely not going to do much with it after the PhD. I want to get my stories published and out there. and I will.
I realised I hadn't heard back from the hospital. It was 15 days since my MRI. The one where they were looking for osteosarcoma. I couldn't get through on the phone. So I emailed the lady I had been speaking to. She was amazing. She was in a meeting when my email arrived and she quickly called me back. They had reviewed my MRI the day before and they were confident there was no malignancy! I smiled and blinked. Incredible. That means I get to keep my arm. I might need surgery. They aren't sure they can get me back to my full movement and omit the pain in my shoulder. And we have no idea what caused it. I'm going to suggest inflammation. I need to work on that. Lose weight, be happier, drink less milk, lower my stress. It will all help, I know this. it's my area of expertise.
Hearing all this news has me visualising myself at my desk, writing and formatting books. I know I can do it now, I had a best seller in 2020. I have ideas and half-written books galore. it's time to get serious about living my dream life.