A day in bed with Crohns

Crohns disease.  Not my very best friend sometimes.  Yet today I decide to embrace the pain which is off the scale.  Coming in droves of 11/10.  I would rather give birth again.  Well, I wouldn't, that's not true.  Suffice to say the pain is bad.

Feeling very disabled, I realise that my life plan ahead needs to consider days like this.  You see there is an issue with my colon not quite working properly and there is undigested food causing issues.  So of course, I am struggling with pain and inflammation.  Ok.  So I chose to embrace this for what it is and realise just how differently I feel today.

Life could be more tricky in the future.  Yet days like today see me floating between bed and the bathroom.  They also see me doing some thinking time.  I fight this illness.  Like, all the time.  Why? Because I want to be an achiever and to me that means going at 100 miles per hour.  Yet it's time to stop that, to slow down, to embrace who I actually am.  On a day I sense I can go 100 MPH I can do that at the gym or on a dog walk; actually those are never 100 MPH.
You see I have this dream of being a proper author. Like, who writes stories and lots of them.  I have a list of names.  These are people I want to write about in a romantic setting.  All such stories take twists and turns.It's been my dream since I was a little girl.  It's remained as a dream rather than believing life can actually be the dream itself.

Today, I decide that all else must wait as I begin to rewrite the stories within me onto paper and onto a book.  So much drama has driven me to this path of excitement and joy.  The path of being a true writer with all I have to offer to the world of books.  More has happened than I can begin to tell you here and it has all brought me to this place of knowing I will live the life I want to live, on my terms, doing things my way and embracing it all.

I currently live with No Regrets.  Yet should I leave this earth plane without getting those books out there, I know with all of my heart there will be a massive regret from the other side.

Meet the new author.  Me.  The one with the crohns pain today.  Bringing me to a place of clarity and joy. Peace within me.  Loving the life I lead from hereon.