Thursday, 25 March 2021

My peppblepad entry for the reflection over the years.


Year 3.  Gosh.  Well actually year 4.  After completing year zero at London met university this year will see me clock up 4 years which is incredible. So much has been learnt and I honestly feel the ride of rollercoaster emotions has been definitely the biggest learning curve of all.

Yes I have a whole host more science knowledge than I started with and that certainly has been massively interesting.  Yet more than anything I have experienced a very large learning curve about myself, my heart led interests, my feelings and how I very much lack the scientific, mathematical reasonance that goes hand in hand with this combination of biology and chemistry. Initially, I was keen to help people with their nutrition. Still I stand by this as I very much feel like a good listener and motivator.  Yet to do the entire science bit isn’t necessarily where I come from in the grand scheme of things. I am more a warm centered individual which has become more apparent since completing an MBTI personality type questionnaire and essay.
Those around me have commented that these types of exercise are ‘a total waste of time’ and when we have a dissertation to write why are we bothering to waste our time.  I disagree.  I would rather my dissertation be totally on what motivates people to be the people they are.  Knowing about oneself definitely aids in living a more on-purpose life. 
Tuning in to what ‘makes you tick’ is something which very much needs addressing and we have proven even in the science world that stress is a major health risk.  We know this.  So living life in any way other than what you enjoy is going to add to the stress that we all endure from time to time.

Having a renewed outlook on my career is potentially taking me to what may seem a different path. Although using my knowledge of what I have learned this far will definitely play a huge part.

Lessons learned about myself are truly golden.  I have spent much of my time in university as a single person and able to work more on my physical and mental mindset which his fantastic.  Much more confident at who I am and where I am going with life and self is quite remarkable.
Last year saw a host of various quite challenging physical health conditions which have vastly improved and I definitely feel ready for the next chapter of my life.


While university has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life, I do have thanks for the clarity I have within my life of not wanting to be considered an employee but rather a self employed person in my onward journey.  As well as the clarity of who I am.

Thursday, 18 March 2021

MBTI personality testing report

Personality Characteristics from MBTI report

Louise Usher – 000850856

What is the MBTI?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a personality type questionnaire.  Finding out about oneself within the reflective report that follows can be a useful tool for those wishing to pursue interests within certain fields of life.  Career, relationships and even simply an understanding of oneself can prove useful to know to create a more harmonious life.

Katherine Cook Briggs (1875-1968) and her daughter Isabel Briggs constructed the introspective self-report questionnaire system.  The purpose would see indicative values of different psychological preferences and assessing how personalities can affect the viewpoint of the surroundings we live in.  Decision making processes can be heavily influenced depending on the personality typings ascertained with the MBTI report.
Carl Jung proposed a conceptual theory which gave speculation to four principal functions of sensation, intuition, feeling and thinking.  As one of these four functions is a dominant part of the personality it is claimed that emphasis will be placed on the differences experienced within individuals yet within a naturally occurring environment.

Often, the MBTI questionnaire will become an important part of the business world, frequently being applied within the workplace or at entry level interviews.
Reliability and validity seems to be under dispute at times as depending on the occasion, reports may show different results. Yet the majority of subjects asked would agree that there are definite similarities within their personality trait results.

Another similar framework to be used is one of the Big Five Personality traits when factor analysis is applied to personality survey data. This is a very well accepted idea.

What the letters mean

E – extraversion
I – introversion
S – sensing
I – intuition
T –Thinking
F – feeling
J – Judging
P- Perceiving

Answering a set of questions will give the applicant a guide as to which personality traits they may carry and which type of jobs and relationships they may be best suited to.  Possibly leading to a more fulfilled life as opposed to going against their own inner guidance.

My MBTI type

An initial quiz from “Best Fit type” carried out within the lecture showed a quick personality assessment and I was shown to be INFP.  An accurate characteristic description to which I found relatable.  Pointing out the importance of people and loyalty.  A caring nature showing very much that decision making comes from a place of feeling. As opposed to thinking.  Within this quick description points out a loyalty to values and people who are important to me in my life. External life must lie within those values. 
While this personality type is quick to see the possibilities available all around, there is also a curiosity which can be great to act as catalysts for implementing ideas.  The values within an INFP personality type, are so important to them that while they are adaptable, flexible and accepting, this is never at the detriment of their own strong values.

Upon further investigation, the 16personalities.com quiz showed extensive questioning pointing to a strong result of ENFP. 
(ENFP stands for Extravert, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)

An interesting result as I would have considered many onlookers likely to assume I am more extroverted than introverted.  Yet personality traits seem to point to both, depending on mood and current experiences.

ENFP types view everyone and everything as part of an entire cosmic whole.  Full of ideas and definitely ‘people people’.  Humanitarian values are of utmost importance to ENFPs and they love to be admired by others and be known for being helpful.
A genuine warmth for people, many ENFPs have a charm which may be perceived as slightly zany. While their values and viewpoints are strong and often surprising, they are never at the detriment of upsetting others. This is a totally important part of the ENFP personality.

As a friend, an ENFP can be the warmest and kindest to know. Empathy is spontaneously available. Those around them list ENFPs as illuminating and they light up their lives and the room in which they have just walked into.
There is a cost to this personality typing which can be they are often excited by adventure and those around them need to support their latest path of ideas.

Procrastination is a typical trait of ENFP and they are productive when working in groups.  Often they can be typically great in brainstorming sessions.

Some of the most softhearted people you can expect to meet are ENFPs and very much tuning into the atmosphere around them. Often funny which can be switched off when needed. Business and intellect is a trait for these types too.


Many ENFPs are great storytellers and love to be writers or journalists.
They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. A skill is allowing strangers the indulgence of feeling like old friends. Which sees them opening up to ENFPs.

ENFPs do not always evenly distribute their effort when learning and studying, and may put off work until the last minute. Describing themselves as working best when ‘up against it’. Learning well in subjects which are engaging of feelings. Those typical hindering learning traits are when material is logical and not engaging of human feelings.

Fear of rejection is a concern for ENFPs and should they be given the opportunity to help others and be accepted they flourish.  Emotional withdrawal and rejection is when you will witness ENFPs at their worst.
Many people trust the ENFP. They totally understand human relationships and will pay attention to others feelings.
Most ENFPs love company in everything they do.  Yet diverse interactions are the best type here as they love to give a mix of communication to keep things interesting and people interested in them.


An ENFP will have an extensive and diverse circle of friends and acquaintances. They do a great deal of active communicating at receptions and meetings, or during public events and recreational activities.
EXTRAVERTED
FEELING
TURBULENT

GET RESULTS BY E-MAIL
(ENFP, -A/-T)
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Fig 1. - (http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/enfp-communication-style)


Wanting it all
Within the results of the quiz, in depth discussion of the ENFP neglecting their nearest and dearest whilst attempting to change the world is a part of the quiz I disagree with.   For me as an ENFP I want it all. To change the world and give my nearest and dearest everything. As well as being accountable for running a perfect house and life. Which of course is unachievable and can lead to frustrations.

Careers

Many ENFPs are fascinated by new ideas and realizing there is a world of opportunity presenting itself to them.  All things new confirm a sense of wonder and excitement.  This is definitely something I relate to as I love the idea of adventure and aiming to create that in as many areas of life as possible, including work.  Wanderlust for travel is definitely high on the list of priorities. Coupled with freedom.
Many ENFP will be well suited to jobs in writing, journalism or acting.  For me, I have a total passion for writing and would happily sit and write all day.  Recently, I have signed into a programme called 750words.com.  This encourages the individual to write 750 words a day, ideally emptying the brain onto the keyboard, and at the end of it there is a report with graphs showing which personality traits are showing through in the writing.  Every time my writing has shown me as introverted.  Which I do believe I am,  yet can often be extroverted in social situations when many other traits have been aligned.  For example, if things are going well on a night out and people seem to be pleased with me, finding me interesting etc I will very much reflect this within my personality and seem more extroverted.  Should the evening be the opposite, it is likely I will leave and be full of anxiety. 

Fig 2 – From 750words.com



What’s it like being me?

My results showed
Extravert of 22%
Intuition 34%
Feeling 69%
Perceiving 31%

Many of the traits I agree with. 
I do hope for idealism and the pressure that can come with such high expectations of perfectionism is really difficult to live with at times and often very disappointing.  Yet with plenty of reasons to know I might not achieve perfectionism, there is a way I can prepare myself for less than perfect achievements and accept that I have enjoyed the ride, having done well in the process.  The enthusiasm I can give when learning something new could show a strong personality and definitely an air of determination to give it all I have got to achieve the highest possible result.  Yet using the people skills I have to help me on my way to the top definitely have to be a success as part of the principles. Without pleasing enough people on the way up, I feel deflated and disappointed. I need to know I have done more than well enough.  Despite the results.  Part of goal setting has in the past been setting unachievable goals yet these more recent years have seen me being more realistic.
A strength is detailed in the report as being an infectious personality.  People suggest I brighten the lives around them and its been known for others to say I light up a room. 
Personal growth sees me very imaginative. Often wanting to reach for the stars which again can often result in disappointment.  Deciding which star to reach is a better approach to aiming in the first place.

Self esteem can be fragile at times.  It very much depends on the ability to create original solutions.  As well as pleasing those around me.  With perfectionism expectations this is often a threat to ones happiness.  With a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism often one can be found looking for a deeper meaning which may not always be there and making an easy situation more complex. Often relying on intuition way too much can lead to over anticipation.  Misreading signals and making frustrations out of otherwise simple plans would have made life much more simple.

As an emotional and sensitive individual, I feel stepping on someone’s toes very painful and we both feel it.  Finding it hard to forgive someone for harsh words which were unecessary is definitely a strong reality to live with.
Even upon writing this piece, I am finding a self critical approach and wondering why so much of what I am writing is about heart felt feelings and


Emotions However, I have felt since becoming involved in science that this personality typing might well be wrong for someone within the black and white environment of science.  Not being able to relate to those who operate without any heart led feelings leaves me upset and frustrated. 
Work related successes are likely to come from me working with those who need to be listened to and perhaps get their stories out by someone who listens with heart and empathy.  This is the area I sense I would like to work.  So speaking to others about their health needs and how they are feeling with nutrition playing a part in how they feel physically and emotionally. 

While I sense I have an infectious enthusiasm, the threat of this is the reverse, without the enthusiasm comes the lack of motivation. Yet at times having fun and experiencing life’s joys are so important too. Taking the moment as it happens and loving it here and now.
ENFPs are often popular and friendly.  Yet this works against them when doing the overthinking that couples with this personality type.  Often losing sleep wondering why something happened.  A highly emotionally charged personality.
In personal situations, it takes an  ENFP lots of time of exploring in social relationships, feelings and ideas before finding something with depth. Once they commit their heart there is an unshakable devotion.

Weaknesses
Being less forgiving to those who are unfeeling is something I need to work on.  Accepting we are all different is difficult when such a polar opposite value is demonstrated.  For instance, someone with absolutely no compassion for others who may be in a difficult situation creates a very uncomfortable feeling within me.

Overthinking situations and aiming to figure out people’s perceptions is a definite potentially weak area.  Aiming to relax more in these situations and just realize that certain things happen at times with little or no explanation would facilitate avoidance of upset.

Strengths

As a determined and passionate individual, I produce excellent work when focusing on something I feel inspired about.  Which now I realize to be writing about those who need inspiration and stories of improvements within life. Working alone is something I enjoy and working within groups needs to be carefully orchestrated due to the sensitive nature of working in groups of conflicting personality typing’s.

Focus is a definite strength and I can give hours of dedicated work to a project I am passionate about.
As a creative, I know I enjoy projects which are illuminating to the eye and the heart. 

Conclusions

The MBTI confirms many traits within myself which I would whole heartedly agree with. The report makes for interesting reading and allows oneself to realize why one might act a certain way in a given situation. 

However, on a personal note, many changes have happened recently within my life. I find very much that things are changing and I do sense this report is something which might change over time dependent on mindset and to a degree be influenced on outside circumstances.

With the assistance of personality type quizzes and also aiming to listen within to what might feel right in any given situation, life could be very much what you make it. Work and personal life situations should be much more pleasurable if we play to our strengths.





Friday, 12 March 2021

The Snow

12 inches of snow fell overnight.

I was leaving the London campus after choir and the songs echoed in my head as I made a new friend who is one cracking solo soprano and i was taking her home due to the weather. It was forecast but we left London with zero snow, drove into it about 20 minutes from home and it got thicker and thicker.  The following morning, a foot of snow...

Stuck.  How was I going to get my essay written?  I wasn't sure.
My son decided to walk to his girlfriends house which meant I could use his desk to sit and write my essay on Iron and Colorectal Cancer.   3 days and nights i sat there. This was a tough essay and the flow simply wasn't there.  I didn't change clothes, or shower. I just worked until it was done with some sleep in between.

Finally I submitted it and realised I might be able to concentrate on learning Mozart for the choir concert.  Until a 'chasing' email popped into my inbox as my dissertation supervisor was 'worried about me'

I would get it done, this I knew.  But right at the ping of the inbox, I wanted to cry.