Post-exam feeling.

Waking up post exams is a nice feeling!
Did I do enough? Lots of big words were involved so I’m hoping so.

At the end of the day my aim was to not quit. I’ve not quit.
A 1st class honours or 2:1 would be a bonus. But I’ve not quit.
The thing about this groovy degree is there are always paramedics around and I video chatted with one last night checking mums legs. They were freezing cold and quite white. Capillary refill is my latest skill I’ve learnt :)
Mum isn’t great but ok. We are seeing the optician today which will be useful. My paramedic friend did say sometimes there are things they just can’t treat and it’s a case of care and comfort (I said that bit in my own words).
So, quick cheeky ten min coffee and I’m hairdressing…

The Snow

12 inches of snow fell overnight.

I was leaving the London campus after choir and the songs echoed in my head as I made a new friend who is one cracking solo soprano and i was taking her home due to the weather. It was forecast but we left London with zero snow, drove into it about 20 minutes from home and it got thicker and thicker.  The following morning, a foot of snow...

Stuck.  How was I going to get my essay written?  I wasn't sure.
My son decided to walk to his girlfriends house which meant I could use his desk to sit and write my essay on Iron and Colorectal Cancer.   3 days and nights i sat there. This was a tough essay and the flow simply wasn't there.  I didn't change clothes, or shower. I just worked until it was done with some sleep in between.

Finally I submitted it and realised I might be able to concentrate on learning Mozart for the choir concert.  Until a 'chasing' email popped into my inbox as my dissertation supervisor was 'worried about me'

I would get it done, this I knew.  But right at the ping of the inbox, I wanted to cry.

Failed year 2!!!!!!

You have NOT passed.

In capital letters.  Nice.  Cheers.

So helpful.  They don't give a crap!

All I have been through.  The death of Dad, the heart attack of mum,  myocarditis of husband, (Ish husband) and they write it in capital letters.

Ok it's sideways but you can still see the words NOT..

Jeez they said there would be nothing on metabolic disorders and there was.  One exam failed.  It wasn't even an exam, I passed that, it was a test....just a test....
Frigging lack of help.  Honestly.....

I'm so super angry.

I had extenuating circumstances on everything and still they wouldn't let that little 5% go....

5% damn you!

I hate the system, I hate that they speak so badly to everyone. I hate that they don't help and have no beating hearts inside them.  They are horrid people!
I started out on this course to stop myself pining for a baby.  Mum and Dad were travelling the world on their little journeys of life and now look.... yet no help at all.

Do I retake then defer year 3? I might.

Or get a girl friday for an apprentice to take care of mum, the house, the social media sharing?  That might be possible....hmm....options.  Now that feels better!

#examgate

Group chat:

Woah that was amazing guys

Yeah thank god. It's over and it was good.

What? Are you guys kidding right?

Anna and I were taking our exams in another room.  The other 4 of our group were in the main exam hall.
All in the hall were told to cross out the last 10 questions and were given another piece of paper which was totally nothing we had revised.

Anna and I were just given the usual paper.  Cutting a very long story short, the head of science was rude, defensive and not at all apologetic for this mistake.  Sadly for Anna and I (but fairly) all questions were erased.

The entire thing has all been a nightmare.  I'm getting sick of all this.

Revision: Fertilisation

Q1B - please see previous blog post for Q1A - Remember these are my revision notes and you must do your own research for accuracy.

Question:  Outline the experimental evidence for the role of one molecule in fertilisation

Baibakov et al found human sperm bind to Homo sapiens zonae pellucida but not to those of non-human primates.
Human sperm only bind to zonae pellucid with contained human ZP2.  Recognition of fertilisation within species is dependant on a N-terminal domain of ZP2.  After fertilisation degradation takes place of N-terminal ZP2 to block polyspermy.

Promise of 2017 - Cardiology

The promise of a new year.  2017.  As the media, the public and the laymen happily rang out 2016 with the wearing of black as we said farewell to the biology of so many talented individuals, we started 2017 with hope.

Everyone being sure 2017 has got to be better than its predecessor. 

My family sighed with relief too as we rang in the new year (me in my nightwear in the middle of a dairy farm in Wales).  Last year was full of worry and tragedy.  Yet we made it through.  Stronger as  a family than ever.  My knowledge of the brain stem, strokes and death far more inscribed in my brain than before as we celebrated the life of my 74 year old father.

We miss him, of course.

With those words of "Mum will live to 100" coming back to haunt me, we rushed her into casualty with a pulse of 45,  stars in her eyes and feeling as though she would lose consciousness at any minute.  

"Heart block" the paramedic had explained.  

The second ECG at hospital showed progession from 1st degree to 2nd degree as they took Mums blood from her bruised vein.  Tropotin was through the roof.  This is an enzyme released by damaged heart cells.  This showed us mum had an MI.  A heart attack.

Her care was fantastic.  Right away, fragmin in her belly, aspirin down her throat and canulas a plenty.  Recussitation trolley all day long gave her a 'bum ache' as she laughed along with the nurses.  This was very serious.  Yet her spirit remained unscathed as I quoted her on Facebook so her friends could see her sense of humour was definitely not harmed.  

A week in intensive care,  a stent in the Right Coronary Artery which was 99% blocked, left one showing a few signs,

echocardiogram showing 'significant damage' to her heart muscle and constant monitoring showing me that she was missing beats.  They called them Blips to Mum.  That was all she needed to know.  I researched and researched and took photos of her trace to send to my contacts in the know.  Turns out their diagnosis via mobile phone was right, Mobitz 2.  

Making the most of Mum,  having her home with us, I was immediately thankful.  Until I realised the sounds of Phil and Holly presenting on This Morning right behind my desk was very distracting.  

Can I cope?  Can I continue my studies, work and look after mum, Scott and the twins?  Of course I can.  I can do anything I put my mind to!

Up against it, yes.  

Not beaten.

How far we have come

March already.  Where is this first year going at university? My good intentions were to add to this blog each week.  Recording my life lessons as well as my science lessons.  Likely the biggest lesson I learnt was that life gets in the way, even with the best intentions.

When you first begin to fill out that UCAS form,  the type of questions you ask as the applicant are likely to be, “Am I good enough?” “Can I pass?” and the like.  Now, however, it is more like, “Where do I find elastic time to magic some space to write that essay?”

Being a firm believer in testing yourself and taking life to the limits in order to learn, I have found a wonderful sense of accomplishment this year.  Simple things have shown me how I learn better as an auditory learner.  Which is a shock as a partially deaf student.  Also, being a lover of technology,  I thought I would fall in love with my new iPad we were supplied with.  However, it seems that this is only one way I find ease in which to record my notes. I still prefer note pads and pieces of paper.

Chemistry is now making sense!

After learning more and more about nutrition is showing me how thankful I can be for the extended year zero at London met last year.  I think without that insight into Chemistry I may have found things tricky this year.  As always with life, there are highs and lows and lots still to catch up on laying on my desk.  This first year at university I have found an affection for the beautiful buildings around campus, for the coffee in starbucks and the smiling faces who serve it.  I now know I want to do well,  have had to lessen the burden of this by lowering my work hours, and wish to continue my studies upon successful completion of this Honours degree.

Here’s to the exam period and the second year.

Things are looking up (even if just for today)

As you may have seen on my last blog post here, I am struggling.

There have been a few moments of epiphany. One was the dream i had where a nurse saw me in my lab coat and called me "Dr".  Right after a wonderful conversation with Sharon, a new friend who is studying a Phd in nutrition.  She said she is happy for me to spend some time in the lab with her.  I still want to see what this phd stuff is all about!

We had a great day at uni on Thursday and I understood EVERYTHING! This is the first time I have felt like this in absolute ages.  I am getting to the point of knowing who I can turn to and who I absolutely shouldn't at uni.

Still been struggling with the lady who is more political than me and sent me insults recently.  Yet I have decided to not be too involved with her and instead I just am polite and pass the time of day.

The past 3 weeks I have not been in to the Biochemistry lectures.  I just can't face it.  IT's all too hard.  I did consider sitting at the back of the room just to sign the register and spend some time reading through the lecture notes of the weeks I have missed.

Biochemistry is my toughest subject. Last year it was chemistry but I 'get' that this year.  And I'm even starting to love it.  The way that we have learnt it comes into food composition and makes the food what it is has been fascinating.

Finding out out that we only have 5 more teaching weeks of uni was really the deal breaker for me.  5 weeks of struggle or a lifetime of regretting giving up on university. I would far rather struggle through for 5 weeks.

Speaking to my osteopath (more on that shortly) who was also a mature student with other commitments, I realised that she totally validated how I am feeling. She also made me realise that what I am doing (taking each deadline ahead and dealing with that one) is exactly what I need to be doing.  To try and plan too much in advance seems too tricky.  And so this is how I am going to work things.  One deadline at a time.  Feels like I want to type "sweet jesus" in there after the 1980's song "One day at a time" but I guess that would make me seem
1. slightly crazy
2. quite old

I want to write so many blog posts on here that I think I will be around for quite some time in the next few days.  It's great revision and it will show you guys some more technical stuff too!

This weekend has made me feel brighter.  As I write this on a Saturday morning (and I'm publishing this way off in the future) I can let you into a secret! The lovely Scott and I have decided to give things another go after several years apart.  He really is my rock and I couldn't be happier to have him in my life.  This morning he has to go for an Echocardiogram as he has problems with his heart.  WE are both worried obviously.  They feel he has an enlarged heart muscle.  His BP is high and his heart rate is floating around 95-110 constantly.  We already know there is a leaky valve there which is likely to have caused these issues.  So after we have gone through that we are off to London O2 arena to see the X Factor tour! We go every year and I'm so excited about that!  
Sunday is mothers day.  Yesterday, driving through the sunshine I felt happier than I have in a very long time.  I remembered to be grateful that I have my mum who is being just delightful right now (she needs me to help with the Dad stuff) and also I am very very lucky to be a mum.  After years of endometriosis and infertility I have 2 wonderful IVF twins who are my world.  So mothers day promises to be a day of eating well and loveliness.

So nice to be able to write more positively. Although as promised, I must post here about the Osteopath news!

Meanwhile,  sending best wishes

Year 2 begins - freshers week

Where did the summer go?

We sure had some fun as a family.  We needed it.  I certainly needed it.

Camping, Majorca, days out at theme parks, attempted days at the beach (traffic stopped us in our tracks).

Not only did I shockingly go and get myself engaged over the holidays but I also managed to sort some health issues out too.

More about that over on my other blog



Worrying about going back to Uni started a few weeks ago yet now, I'm super excited and charged up!
You see, the timetables came in. Lots of Epidemeology, (can't spell that yet!) Immunology, physiology, human nutrition etc.  Right up my street!
I'm fairly sure where I would like my career path to go now.  Dealing with allergies I'm thinking.

Sadly, I'm not feeling physically very well but emotionally I'm on top of things. Definitely turned a corner and long may it continue. The palpitations are rare these last few days.

*****************

Yesterday I collected my daughter from college early and we went into Uni to get lunch and walk around the freshers fair. This is where I discovered I have been upgraded to a Senior student ambassador! Pay rise n all :)

I'm excited to get back in the saddle. I think i'm going to nail it this year! All while being mum of the year and uber organised in work and home life.  

Speaking to Jill today, we will wait for each other and sit together tomorrow which is lovely.  Jack isn't in tomorrow as he is away on holiday somewhere very exotic.  He also got engaged over the summer! Must be something in the water.

7 weeks today I will be landing in Jamaica with a wedding dress in my luggage.  That's exciting!!!

Goodbye curly hair, hello straight.  Hello make up.  And nice smart clothes.  Goodbye flip flops and hello heels....

Summer, you were wonderful.

Brain cells, wake up please.

Stages of change model

The stages of change model is often used in nutrition and dietetics.

What does Stages of Change model mean?

It begins with building a solid foundation of recovery.

There are 5 steps:

1.  Pre contemplation

This is where the patient is not actively looking for change.  Perhaps they were not aware of needing a change or have no desire to change.

2.  Contemplation

The patient is beginning to wonder if there may be an issue needs addressing.  Is there  a problem here or not?

3.  Preparation

A plan is being developed to address the problem.

4.  Action

New behaviours are beginning to be implemented to address the problem.  This typically lasts 3-6 months.

5.  Maintenance

Symptom free behaviour continuing the good work!

Confounding factors

Within nutrition, confounding factors play a large part in trials.

The relationship between disease and exposure can experience confounding.  IE Alcohol drinkers.  Do they suffer more heart disease than non alcohol drinkers?
As smoking is often associated with alcohol consumption, is it possible that alcohol drinkers may have more heart disease but due to smoking as opposed to drinking alcohol?  This would be confounding.

Therefore, the relationship between alcohol and heart disease could be due to some confounding variable.

Week 1 of university

Rain, rain and a little more rain. 

Gosh did it rain.  
Such a shame as we had the most amazing welcome planned for us with a beautiful marquee set up on the Pembroke lawn.  Awfully posh.  I felt it sounded just a little Royal.   

Excitedly,  I straightened my hair to its finest smoothness just that morning and was happy to hear that my new found friend Jules has also done the same.  Neither of us with an umbrella. 
Both of us taking cover in the marquee.  Bravely.  As no one else was! 
They were shyly braving the rain!  

Bacon rolls for brunch.  Yum.  Slight issue there with my gluten allergy. I ate just a rasher of bacon.  

Becky sat with me who was another human nutrition student. She was struggling to eat too as she was vegetarian.  Chatting with new friends, all seemed to be going well.  There was so much to take in on this new day.  Imagining this must be what it's like to move into the Big Brother house on channel 5 tv. Everyone getting to know each other while at the same time being on our best behaviour.  Missing my friends from my old university in this week was a huge challenge.  I was so glad Kathy was there. She was a friendly and familiar face from the last university.  
Yet I wished my Muna and Sheyma were here.  My comfort blankets.  That was all. I would have to learn to get along without them.   

The staff we met on this first week all seemed so professional, smart and totally passionate about their subjects and their university.  Buildings all around with beautiful red brick,  steeped in history of days gone by when this was a historic dockyard.  The place is just stunning.  Surrounded by trees and other green life giving forces.  Opening my eyes to see such beauty more and more as I learn details of the science behind life.  I think I'm going to like it here.

Entering clearing for university?

So you didn't get the desired results?

It sucks and no doubt you felt let down.  Yet fear not! There is always the Clearing service

What is clearing?

Basically it's a service that universities use to fill up courses. This year should prove easier than some others as we now have the Brexit issue to deal with which will have made many european students think twice.

So what you need to do is all listed here and you still have a couple of weeks to get your desired courses in.  You can call the university you are interested in and apply that way by chatting to them, or just check the clearing list on the UCAS website to find out more.

Interested in nutrition? 

If you were thinking about getting an NHS funded course, think again.  Not only is there massive competition for these courses but chances are they are filled well before exams are even taken.

Dietetics is one of these courses.

I do get hugely frustrated when I hear students apply for such courses simply so they don't get a big student loan.  That's not morally right in my opinion.  You should train with the NHS as you want to work in the NHS.  Surely?  So if you wanted to enter dietetics through clearing, chances are it's unlikely.

Nutrition on the other hand may be an option for you.

Basically this is the same course but you don't go through the placements within the NHS hospitals.  There fore it is one year less too.  At the end of it you may be registered as a nutritionist but not as a dietitian.  There is a big difference.  Really, depending on which field you think you may like to work in.

As my career is likely to take me online, nutrition is perfect for me.

Check out what is out there but bear in mind, taking a degree is HARD work.  You must be interested in your subject.  Nutrition is very heavy on Science, particularly biology and chemistry.  There's lots of maths involved too and quite a few 'talks/presentations' too.

You can look at Extended degrees too if you need to brush up on your science or have been away from education for a while.  London met and Greenwich both offer these leading to nutrition courses and I would recommend them both as excellent universities.  I have been to both.

Let me know if you have any questions you think I can help you with!

Don't forget to follow this blog as there are lots more posts coming up to let you know my tips and advice for getting through university.