I don't know how I feel and it's super strange to be honest.
Yesterday I spent a fraction of time (amongst my revision) gathering together photographs of my time at university and adding them to my newest Facebook photo album entitled "University life".
Flicking through -and there are many more to be added- I realised there have also been many wonderful memories. Yet these are mostly to do with the small handful of amazing people I have met along the way and the fun times to be had at the posh events we have been to!
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| Autumn in our campus. |
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| Me Stealing Annas glasses in year one! |
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| The Greenwich campus is simply stunning. |
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| Summer ball in year one |
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| Leavers dinner in year 4 |
Some people I am glad to never see again. In fact I would go so far as to avoid them at all costs as their nastiness has caused me actual massive emotional turmoil. More than that; anxiety. One in particular stands out in my memory and to gather the positive aspect from this, she highlighted that I do have actual anxiety and have had for some years. Yet the most massive panic attack outside St Pancras train station highlighted me to this. Feeling as though I was going to die, I phoned my husband at the time and said goodbye.
"Where are you?" He asked and I explained. He cleverly yet unknowingly got me to describe the places I could see,
"There is a McDonalds on the corner and the station is behind me..." He told me to sit down and take some breaths. I didn't have time for that, I had to get to a chemistry exam.
Two weeks off followed and a host of medication. Thankfully, I finally stopped these meds recently
Knowing now how we all need to give respect to our mental health, I am able to recognise that this is likely something I carried with me since my bullied days of school. That's a whole other story and likely a whole other book! Knowledge is power they say. I agree with 'them'. Now I can spot times of danger with my mental health. Now I am able to shape my life to fuel my soul and to love my whole self in respect of who I am and what I need to generate happiness and joy within my life.
Which, after all, is the entire point of being.
What is life if not joyful?
The actual politics accompanying the academic world have not impressed me. It's simply not what i am about. I'm about heart and love and being kind to each other. It seems the majority of academics are at university to carry out their research. An important job of course. Yet I would imagine the difference between being a teacher and being a researcher is a whole host of other skills. A handful of our academics really seem to care at my university and I adore them for that!
The Exam
So I have a seen exam tomorrow starting at 9:30am. We know there are 5 questions and we know we answer 3 of them. I have decided on my questions to be answered and done a little research into what I will write. Today I am going to write them blog post fashion and publish them over on my nutrition blog. Re-reading them I will hope to remember some of what I have written and let's hope it's right! I've taken the brave a bold step to answer a question from the most harsh marker in the department. Yet I love the question, the subject and the topic! See the next few blog posts to see what they are and how I have answered them. Of course if you are simply interested in my journal here and not much interested in nutrition then please skip past...
One last thing. Obviously this work needs to be done in Starbucks!
Wish me luck!
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