Year 3 going swimmingly?

Year 3 is well and truly in swing now.

Is it going well?  ~I would like to say yes. I'm feeling so really.  Typing here on an unfamiliar keyboard with big ol' keys (as opposed to my little Mac ones) while drinking my coffee kind of suggests I can't keep away from the place.

Usually, I would be taking this time to walk my fluffy dog and take him into Starbucks, using their wi-fi and dog friendly service to begin a week of catching up on coursework.  Yet the grey clouds built hard and fast and I left Harley pining at the front door while I grabbed a hooded coat to protect me from the rain.  Leaving to take my daughter to the college close by, I decided to head on in here and start an update for my PDP.

Loving to write, I had a very interesting conversation with some collegues on SAturday as we worked the university open day in our ambassador role.
"Maybe I chose the wrong degree." As those words left my mouth I actually shocked myself.

WAnting to be a dietitian is a life long dream.  Yet.  This was to work with people, be empathetic and help them with their life struggles.  I am not sure I can see this happening now with the route my career seems to be naturally flowing.  Partly due to the lack of interaction with the members of the public.  This course isn't about that.

Strangely, I feel life definitely takes its own twists and turns in order to keep me on my toes

Revision - Main characteristic of Viruses.

NB this is my own revision and I cannot promise accuracy - do research.

Question:
a)  Discuss in depth the main characteristics of viruses

Viruses are not classed as living things as they cannot replicate without a host.  They do not have a metabolism.
Viruses spread using cells.
They have a protein coat called a capsid.
Viruses are very small, much smaller than bacteria.
They are difficult to treat.

b) Give a detailed account of the main events involved in a typical virus life cycle

A virus enters the body and locates a host cell.  As it fuses, it uses the protein coat to enter the cell.  Here,  it enters either a lytic cycle or a lysogenic cycle .  Nucleic acid will be used to reform DNA/RNA and change the genetic material of the cell.
The lytic cycle then sees the cell erupt making copies of the other cells.  Leaving holes in the cell membrane gives ease to apoptosis of the cell as it cannot survive without the membrane.
The lysogenic cycle uses DNA to hide in cells until immune comprimisation occurs.

c)  List factors contributing to viral pathogenicity and to the nature and severity of viral diseases.

Pathogenicity refers to the ability of an organism to cause disease (i.e. harm the host).  This ability represents a genetic component of the pathogen and the damage done to the host is a property of the host-pathogen reactions.

Natural killer cells are lymphocytes, they recognise this virus and kill.
The severity of viral diseases is dictated by the immune response. In several immune deficiency diseases including AIDS NK cell function is abnormal.
NK cells binds to cell and releases toxins which produces holes int he target cells membrane creating apoptosis.
NK cells may also contribute to immunoregulation by recreating high levels of influential lymphokines.

My results are all in

So it seems somehow, I passed.

Amazing news isn't it?  There was just one disappointment which was Biochemistry in my exam.  22%

22%? Well I felt I had done so so so much better than that.  Yet, worry not, I do feel I understood the content and I also passed the module as the other elements were great marks.  Pleased for sure!

Overall a 50% pass for Biochem.  Not bad as I missed so much of that.

The other results were amazing.  My PDP (the thing I added blogs to) got a whopping 85% which I was really so super glad about. I was hoping for a great score there.

Nutrition exam came away with 67%.

All modules were at the very least a 2:2 and most a 2:1.

This first year doesn't count towards the final grade marks yet I have learnt so much about what I may need to do to get a first (I'd love one of those!) and to be honest, I know it's not going to be handed to me on a plate.  Yet it seems incredibly possible depending on what else you might have going on in life.  For me, I need to work a little less on people's hair styles and spend far more time reading and in the library.  This coming year should be far far more interesting. Much less about the core science and more in which I'm hoping to relate to.  Immunology, cancer, metabolism etc.  I am doubly sure I will be learning so much about myself too and how I can help myself with my own health and diet - she says as she takes a sip of her latte - which would be amazing.

Emailing my tutor who was going to show me some good examples of well written papers and essays got no reply.  Well, it is the summer holidays.  My brain is a little tuned out too!

Yesterday I took a call from my mental health advisor from uni who is quite on the ball in all departments.  She is keen for me to continue to take care of my mental health and feels my physical health is all part of the difficulties dealing with the mental.

To be totally open on this blog though, I have definitely realised that I need to be comfortable in the skin I'm in.  I'm a person who loves to be at home, sitting at my desk and not being overly social in public.  That's just me.  It's who I am.  Realising that has enabled me to create a much better inner peace.  Ok, so here's the hippy in me showing through now.

I have so many super ideas on how I can create my ideal life and living from the beauty of my laptop. I am super keen to make this happen.  It just may mean some more late nights, which I am not so great at.

Today, my son takes his last GCSE and in two days, my daughter finishes too (did I mention they are twins?)  I cannot help but feel like punching the air saying "I've done it!" as I realise I actually lived long enough to watch them grow up!  Sounds daft now but when they were tiny I was an anxiety filled mess who really wanted to live long enough.  I would lie awake counting my heartbeats as it pounded with palpitations (these are the days before I knew I was allergic to gluten!).
Next year (early) they will be able to drive which will give me so much more free time.  Although leaving school, they are going to be at college which is directly next to the university! Amazing.

Hoping this will all work out well, I am continuing with putting as much time as possible into my blog posts and youtube videos in the hope that it really doesn't matter how many slipped discs I'm dealing with or what level of arthritis.  I can still work and keep myself doing all the things I love.

I'm excited for the future.  Just wishing I wasn't filled with doubt about me actually being able to make it all happen.

What about you?  How is your future looking?  Are you confident?

Bank Holiday revision

After much panic (needed panic?)  I am sat at university on Bank Holiday Sunday.

The weather is streaming sunshine outside.  Yet here I am revising.  Thankfully things are starting to click into place and I feel like this is what I need to do.  To just brave it out!

At university we have been discouraged from using  the internet.  Especially you tube.  Yet last year I felt it really helped so much.  Two friends of mine (one from last years uni and one from this year) both suggested I use Youtube.  So I have.  Sitting here with my headphones on and watching youtube.  Making notes and hoping to get around to writing up some bullet points.

All the while I am sharing these videos over on my Science of Nutrition Facebook page.  I hope it will help some of you guys too.

After previous disappointing results, I have really been going to town beating myself up about this.  Silly.  Silly me.

Yet the family have needed me as we have been taking Scott through a series of heart operations, tests and issues.  Of course I'm still there for mum as we get used to life without Dad and now on top of these types of dramas my car has gone wrong.  Not good as I need to pay a small fortune to fix it.  But good as I am now getting a new one!  Wonderful.  Excited.

Meeting up with my personal tutor and the mental health team on Thursday.  Just to get some support.   A little rub on the arm and a 'come on Louise, you've got this' will help massively.

Panic.  Breathe.

Really losing it - poor results

Ok sit tight for a bumpy ride on this blog.


There is  a desperate need and desire inside to actually share a load which is a burdensome load.  Things at university are not going well.

Last year in London, I was an A student.  Except for chemistry which was tricky.  Then I still passed with 56%.

This year, not so. 

i'm struggling with silly results and if I pass, I will only just pass.  This is not the way I operate.

Results today were from a nutrition essay.  Nutrition.  And Essay.  My thing.  My thing?
The title was "What are the role of

March

How has year 1 been?

March already.  Where is the first year going at university?

My good intentions were to add to this blog each week.  Recording my life lessons as well as my science lessons.  Likely the biggest lesson I learnt was that life gets in the way, even with the best intentions.

When you first begin to fill out that UCAS form, the type of questions you ask yourself as the applicant are likely to be, "Am I good enough?" "Can I pass?" and the like.  Now, however, it is more like, "Where do I find elastic time to magic some space to write that essay?"

Being a firm believer in testing yourself and taking life to the limits in order to learn, I have found a wonderful sense of accomplishment this year.  Simple things have shown me how I learn better as an auditory learner. Which is a shock as a partially deaf student.  Also, being a lover of technology, I thought I would fall in love with my new iPad we were supplied with.  However, it seems this is only one way I find ease in which to record my notes. I still prefer note pads and pieces of paper.

Chemistry is now making sense!

After learning more and more about nutrition I realise how thankful I am for the extended year zero at London Met last year. Without that insight into chemistry I may have found things tricky this year.  As always with life, there are highs and lows and lots to catch up on on my desk, laying around in organised piles.  

This first year at university I have found an affection for the beautiful red brick buildings around campus, for coffee in Starbucks each sleepy morning and the smiling faces who serve my vanilla latte.

I now know I want to do well, be the best I can be.  I have had to learn the lesson of this by lowering my work hours. I wish to continue my studies upon successful completion of this Honours degree.

Here's to the exam period and the second year.

Essay over, next essay begins while I take steroids

Thank goodness for that.  

The meiosis essay has been handed in and lets await the mark.  I can definitely see areas for improvement but it was like pulling teeth writing that essay.  However, I have learnt loads from writing it and I see loads of research needed is to do with genetics so I guess I might have to learn even more.  I'll keep you posted and update the last blog post when the result comes through.  I usually float around 50-60% so hope for another.... I'd love to improve my scientific essay writing.  Poles apart from blog or novel writing and it's been such a massive eye opener for me!  Not my favourite thing.  It's all Facts, Facts, Facts.  No creativity.  Needs evidence base to back it up!  None of this imagination stuff.  

That said, I spent a little time yesterday afternoon doing a bit of research to decide where I may like to take my career in the field of study.  Would I go do a masters in dietetics?  Or another thing to add into the mix is learning that a PGdip (post graduate diploma) is enough to get registered as a health professional (HPC) as a dietitian.  This still takes lots of placement time running around hospital wards and I'm just not sure how much I'm up to that. Been working on my health and fitness but more about this shortly!  Looking at a PhD I could see that some PhD's didn't require either registration with HPC or a masters degree.  A good mark in a BSc honours would do the job. I really want to be one or the other or both.  Realistically I can see it being a PhD.  London met where I studied last year do one that you can do partly distance learning.  That sounds fantastic.

The government are setting up a new system to take on more health professionals.  It will enable a loan rather than a bursary which will free up a little more money to be able to be spent on tuition fees. Great news for the NHS who need good people.  

So I definitely need to knuckle down and get those grades better to enable me to apply to continue my studies.  Research into Crohns disease excites me.  Relating to food perhaps? Maybe more niche as in the effects of sugar on crohns disease...

Talking of which.  It saddens me to say I've had to resort to taking steroids for the first time in my life.  Between events in my personal life and that time of year at uni (perhaps coupled with food I would be better off not eating) my Crohns is heading into a flare up.  This means act fast, get rid of it.  I always have controlled this with diet before but I will accept that little bit of help.  I'll keep you posted. Watch this space.  

Meanwhile, the next essay begins.  The role of fat in the diet.

Not coping well

Having not written here for way, way too long, I have just woken from a dream that sent me here to let me fingers do the talking. 


Since I last blogged in this journal, my lovely father has passed away.  

Very long story.  One of neglect once again from the medical system.   As this blog isn't about that I won't dwell too much on it. You can read about it in my personal blog here. 

However, obviously this has been a very difficult time on a practical level as well as an emotional level.  University have been less than helpful and I'm at a point (hopefully a temporary point) of thinking I might have to leave.  Despite sending many emails, reaching out for help etc I have had no support.  They have something you can apply for called extenuating circumstances. I've applied and not even had an acknowledgement.  It's been awful.  My programme leader and personal tutor have only replied with condolences.  No offer of help.

Getting to a point of realisation and acceptance, I had decided to just do my own thing as they were not going to help me.

Yet I had missed two weeks of lectures on DNA replication.  Trying to catch up for the third week was near on impossible.  The lecturer was speaking Spanish into my ears.  So I busied myself trying to read all the 'stuff' I had missed.  When she came over and tore a strip off me for being distracted, I found it very hard indeed.  The following week (this week) a woman who should know better tore another strip off me.  Both weeks I had to leave as I was in tears, came home and totally lost the plot with emotions.  

So what do I do now? 

I want to leave.  Correction, I don't want to.  I feel I'll have to.  

While I don't really NEED this degree for the job I want to do, it will give credibility and knowledge second to none.  I want this degree.  Yet can't sit in lectures crying with my anxiety and depression issues.

My wonderful friend has offered to phone the university for me and see if I can do a little distance learning.  If they say no, heaven knows what I will do.  I need to be home more.  Things are not good.  

Sad times.

Too much politics for me?

I just wrote this (fair to say I'm having a wobble about my future!):

Is it all just too confusing now to know what to eat?

When was the last time you ate something with total confidence?

You read so much from so many places and just when you think you might have cracked the code on the mystery that is 'healthy eating' you hear some new bit of research which tells you how wrong you have it.

I'm frustrated.  I'm being honest.


For me, things are a little different as I have both crohns disease and celiac so of course I need to take those things into account.  Yet as a nutritionist (the type without a degree - yet!) I find it's near on impossible to give the right advice to the entire audience.

A dietitian who I previously respected has published a rant about all the type of 'clean living' which is apparently a new fad.  The BBC publishedthis show about the dirty secrets of clean living.  The blogger who hosted it was quite open about what she was trying and the advice she was getting from various fad diet gurus.  After watching it, I had to agree with a lot of what she said, there is a lot of bad advice out there.

Yet something that makes me really cross is how they portray us poor old 'nutritionists'.  
There seems to be a war between the quackary of being a nutritionist and a dietitian who is one to be obeyed.  
In fact, to set the record straight, we take the same degree qualification and the only difference is that Registered Nutritionists do not have to undertake hospital placements.  Generally,  once qualified and Registered with the Association for Nutrition, a Nutritionist will need to practice with as much credibility as a dietitian.  

I started out my degree to become a dietitian.  I changed my mind after 4 months as I realised that I would be tied to a 'one rule fits all'.  Sadly, I had a bad experience with a dietitian and I'm sure this was an isolated incident.  When I was first diagnosed with Crohns and fighting to keep my bowel in tact and not have it removed with surgery,  the dietitian I saw at my hospital knew nothing about adjusting my diet in accordance with inflammatory bowel disease, nor did my gasteroenterologist beleive I could make improvements in my health by changing my diet.

"you can't control your symptoms without medication or surgery, or both."  He said as I cried.
The dietitian advised me to eat from the Eatwell plate which I am sure would have left me in a state of needing the surgery.

I proved them wrong.

I won't go into my advice to you in this blog post. I simply want to  point out that if you believe one way works for you, then it's likely it will.  

However, while we have spent two years studying hardcore science and about to get into the minefield of research to complete our degrees at university, I can't help but wonder if I'm trying to enter an industry that seems to love a bit of politics.

That worries me.  

Week 2 getting to know you

Week 2 of University - Getting to know you.

The campus is not difficult to negotiate.

Parallel corridors engulfed with beautiful dark wood just seem to make sense.  The buildings begin with a P (for Pembroke) or A (for Anson) then the floor numbers correspond with room numbers.  Easy!

This week while there were no lab practical sessions, we found we were off for the day on Tuesday.  Dr Lauren Pecorino provided me with my time filling activity as I began to read her book "Why millions survive cancer."  An excellent book.  Quietly showing me just how much I have to learn about cells.  I aspire to write so confidently as her.

Fellow students in their minority are finding it easy to complain about our insecurities.  We all are trying hard to gather our way into finding answers to things.   Self development plan number 1 - be more tolerant or space yourself further from the negativity.  I must not engage with difficult conversations.   My plan at University is to enjoy my time,  to learn everything I can to facilitate my brilliance as a nutritionist and to keep smiling all the way through,  becoming just lovely!

Chemistry was a difficult subject for me last year.  Worried that this year may prove the same,  I focused hard on the lecture.  A new tutor nervously took the lecture.  Last year, i found I was mostly repeating memorised sentances regarding atomic bonding.  Just enough to pass.  Yet this lecture saw the proverbial 'penny drop' as I realised that a covelant bond was in fact a sharing of electrons.  Aha,  a sharing of electrons.  Now I see clearly!

Writing myself notes,  I reference into Youtube to go and look up Pauli exclusion principle and Hands rules.  These are currently another language to me.